Henry IV Part 2


Text

Act I
Act II
Act III
Act IV
Act V
Enter Sir John Falstaff, followed by his Page bearing

his sword and buckler


FALSTAFF

Sirrah, you giant, what says the doctor to my
buckler (n.) small round shield See Topics: Weapons

water?
water (n.) 3 urine


PAGE

He said, sir, the water itself was a good healthy

water; but, for the party that owed it, he might have
owe (v.) 1 own, possess, have See Topics: Frequency count
party (n.) 5 person, fellow

more diseases than he knew for.
mo, moe (adj.) more [in number]


FALSTAFF

Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me. The
gird (v.) 2 mock, taunt, laugh [at]

brain of this foolish-compounded clay, man, is not able
foolish-compounded (adj.) composed of folly

to invent anything that intends to laughter more than I
intend (v.) 2 tend, incline, be predisposed

invent, or is invented on me; I am not only witty in

myself, but the cause that wit is in other men. I do here
wit (n.) 2 mental sharpness, acumen, quickness, ingenuity See Topics: Frequency count

walk before thee like a sow that hath overwhelmed all

her litter but one. If the Prince put thee into my service

for any other reason than to set me off, why then I have
set off (v.) 1 enhance, show to advantage, display by contrast

no judgement. Thou whoreson mandrake, thou art
mandrake (n.) 3 noisy growth, dwarf See Topics: Plants
whoreson (adj.) [abusive intensifier, serious or jocular] bastard, wretched, vile See Topics: Swearing

fitter to be worn in my cap than to wait at my heels. I

was never manned with an agate till now, but I will inset
agate (n.) dwarf, midget [as of a tiny figure carved in an agate-seal]
man (v.) 2 attend, serve, wait on [by]

you neither in gold nor silver, but in vile apparel, and
apparel (n.) clothes, clothing, dress See Topics: Frequency count
vile, vild (adj.) 3 shameful, contemptible, wretched

send you back again to your master for a jewel – the

juvenal the Prince your master, whose chin is not yet
juvenal (n.) youth, young man

fledge. I will sooner have a beard grow in the palm of
fledge (adj.) 1 covered with down, displaying growth

my hand than he shall get one off his cheek; and yet he

will not stick to say his face is a face-royal. God may
face-royal (n.) majestic face, face like a king
stick (v.) 7 hesitate, linger, think twice

finish it when He will, 'tis not a hair amiss yet. He may
hair (n.) 2 jot, iota, trace

keep it still at a face-royal, for a barber shall never earn
still (adv.) 1 constantly, always, continually See Topics: Frequency count

sixpence out of it. And yet he'll be crowing as if he had

writ man ever since his father was a bachelor. He may
write (v.) 2 call oneself, claim to be

keep his own grace, but he's almost out of mine, I can
grace (n.) 1 honour, favour, recognition, respect

assure him. What said Master Dommelton about the

satin for my short cloak and my slops?
slop, slops (n.) large loose breeches, baggy trousers See Topics: Clothing


PAGE

He said, sir, you should procure him better assur-
assurance (n.) 1 security, certainty, confidence

ance than Bardolph. He would not take his bond and
bond (n.) 1 deed, contract, pledge

yours; he liked not the security.


FALSTAFF

Let him be damned like the glutton! Pray
glutton (n.) rich man in the Dives and Lazarus parable See Topics: Religious personalities and beings

God his tongue be hotter! A whoreson Achitophel! A
whoreson (adj.) [abusive intensifier, serious or jocular] bastard, wretched, vile See Topics: Swearing

rascally yea-forsooth knave, to bear a gentleman in hand,
bear in hand 3 encourage with false hopes, foster expectation in
knave (n.) 1 scoundrel, rascal, rogue See Topics: Frequency count
yea-forsooth (adj.) always agreeing, fawning, sycophantic

and then stand upon security! The whoreson smoothy-
smooth-pate, smoothy-pate (n.) cropped-head [of a Puritan city tradesman]
stand upon (v.) 1 make an issue of, insist upon, bother about

pates do now wear nothing but high shoes and bunches
high (adj.) 7 built-up, raised

of keys at their girdles; and if a man is through with
through, be be in agreement, see eye to eye

them in honest taking up, then they must stand upon
taking up (n.) dealing, bargaining, agreement

security. I had as lief they would put ratsbane in my
lief, had as should like just as much See Topics: Frequency count
ratsbane (n.) rat poison

mouth as offer to stop it with security. I looked 'a should
look (v.) 1 expect, anticipate, hope, await the time
stop (v.) 4 fill, cram, stuff

have sent me two-and-twenty yards of satin, as I am a

true knight, and he sends me ‘ security ’! Well he may

sleep in security, for he hath the horn of abundance, and
security (n.) over-confidence, carelessness

the lightness of his wife shines through it – and yet
lightness (n.) 2 lewdness, wantonness, licentiousness

cannot he see, though he have his own lanthorn to light

him. Where's Bardolph?


PAGE

He's gone in Smithfield to buy your worship a

horse.


FALSTAFF

I bought him in Paul's, and he'll buy me a

horse in Smithfield. An I could get me but a wife in the

stews, I were manned, horsed, and wived.
man (v.) 2 attend, serve, wait on [by]
stew (n.) 1 brothel, house of ill-repute

Enter the Lord Chief Justice and his Servant


PAGE

Sir, here comes the nobleman that committed the

Prince for striking him about Bardolph.


FALSTAFF

Wait close; I will not see him.
close (adv.) 6 safely, secretly, out of sight


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

What's he that goes there?


SERVANT

Falstaff, an't please your lordship.


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

He that was in question for the
question, in on trial, under examination

robbery?


SERVANT

He, my lord – but he hath since done good

service at Shrewsbury, and, as I hear, is now going with

some charge to the Lord John of Lancaster.
charge (n.) 2 company, command


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

What, to York? Call him back

again.


SERVANT

Sir John Falstaff!


FALSTAFF

Boy, tell him I am deaf.


PAGE

You must speak louder; my master is deaf.


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

I am sure he is, to the hearing of

anything good. Go pluck him by the elbow; I must

speak with him.


SERVANT

Sir John!


FALSTAFF

What! A young knave, and begging! Is there
knave (n.) 3 boy, lad, fellow

not wars? Is there not employment? Doth not the King

lack subjects? Do not the rebels need soldiers? Though

it be a shame to be on any side but one, it is worse shame

to beg than to be on the worst side, were it worse than

the name of rebellion can tell how to make it.


SERVANT

You mistake me, sir.


FALSTAFF

Why, sir, did I say you were an honest man?

Setting my knighthood and my soldiership aside, I had

lied in my throat if I had said so.
throat, lie in one's be an outrageous liar


SERVANT

I pray you, sir, then set your knighthood and

your soldiership aside, and give me leave to tell you you

lie in your throat if you say I am any other than an

honest man.


FALSTAFF

I give thee leave to tell me so? I lay aside that

which grows to me? If thou gettest any leave of me,
grow to (v.) be an integral part of, become one with

hang me. If thou takest leave, thou wert better be

hanged. You hunt counter. Hence! Avaunt!
avaunt (int.) begone, go away, be off See Topics: Frequency count
counter, compter (n.) 4 [a term from hunting] taking an opposite path to the prey


SERVANT

Sir, my lord would speak with you.


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

Sir John Falstaff, a word with

you.


FALSTAFF

My good lord! God give your lordship good

time of day. I am glad to see your lordship abroad; I
abroad (adv.) 3 away from home, out of the house

heard say your lordship was sick. I hope your lordship

goes abroad by advice. Your lordship, though not clean
abroad (adv.) 3 away from home, out of the house

past your youth, have yet some smack of age in you,
smack (n.) 3 suggestion, trace, hint

some relish of the saltness of time; and I most humbly
relish (n.) 1 trace, suggestion, hint
saltness (n.) [unclear meaning] maturing power; piquancy; vigour

beseech your lordship to have a reverend care of your

health.


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

Sir John, I sent for you – before

your expedition to Shrewsbury.


FALSTAFF

An't please your lordship, I hear his majesty

is returned with some discomfort from Wales.


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

I talk not of his majesty. You

would not come when I sent for you.


FALSTAFF

And I hear, moreover, his highness is fallen

into this same whoreson apoplexy.
apoplexy (n.) paralysis, torpor, total breakdown
whoreson (adj.) [abusive intensifier, serious or jocular] bastard, wretched, vile See Topics: Swearing


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

Well, God mend him! I pray you

let me speak with you.


FALSTAFF

This apoplexy, as I take it, is a kind of

lethargy, an't please your lordship, a kind of sleeping in

the blood, a whoreson tingling.


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

What tell you me of it? Be it as

it is.


FALSTAFF

It hath it original from much grief, from study,
grief (n.) 2 pain, torment, distress
original (n.) point of origin, cause, source
study (n.) 4 reflection, reverie, musing

and perturbation of the brain. I have read the cause of

his effects in Galen; it is a kind of deafness.


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

I think you are fallen into the

disease, for you hear not what I say to you.


FALSTAFF

Very well, my lord, very well. Rather, an't

please you, it is the disease of not listening, the malady

of not marking, that I am troubled withal.
mark (v.) 1 note, pay attention [to], take notice [of] See Topics: Frequency count


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

To punish you by the heels
heels, by the in the stocks, in irons

would amend the attention of your ears, and I care not
amend (v.) 1 cure, heal, improve

if I do become your physician.


FALSTAFF

I am as poor as Job, my lord, but not so

patient. Your lordship may minister the potion of
potion (n.) 2 medicine

imprisonment to me in respect of poverty; but how I

should be your patient to follow your prescriptions, the

wise may make some dram of a scruple, or indeed a
dram (n.) 1 tiny amount, small quantity
scruple (n.) 2 suspicion, misgiving, doubt

scruple itself.
scruple (n.) 1 tiny amount, last ounce


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

I sent for you, when there were

matters against you for your life, to come speak with me.
life, for one's of a capital nature
matter (n.) 5 reason, cause, ground


FALSTAFF

As I was then advised by my learned counsel

in the laws of this land-service, I did not come.
land-service (n.) military service done on land


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

Well, the truth is, Sir John, you

live in great infamy.


FALSTAFF

He that buckles himself in my belt cannot live

in less.


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

Your means are very slender, and

your waste is great.


FALSTAFF

I would it were otherwise; I would my means

were greater and my waist slenderer.


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

You have misled the youthful

Prince.


FALSTAFF

The young Prince hath misled me. I am the

fellow with the great belly, and he my dog.


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

Well, I am loath to gall a new-
gall (v.) 2 chafe, rub, make sore

healed wound. Your day's service at Shrewsbury hath a

little gilded over your night's exploit on Gad's Hill. You
gild over (v.) smooth over, cover the defect of

may thank th' unquiet time for your quiet o'erposting
overpost (v.) pass over, disregard, overlook [of]
unquiet (adj.) disturbed, disordered, restless

that action.
action (n.) 3 encounter, engagement, exploit


FALSTAFF

My lord!


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

But since all is well, keep it so.

Wake not a sleeping wolf.


FALSTAFF

To wake a wolf is as bad as smell a fox.


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

What! You are as a candle, the

better part burnt out.


FALSTAFF

A wassail candle, my lord, all tallow – if I did
wassail (n.) drinking-party, carousal, revels

say of wax, my growth would approve the truth.
approve (v.) 1 prove, confirm, corroborate, substantiate


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

There is not a white hair in your

face but should have his effect of gravity.
gravity (n.) 1 respectability, authority, dignified position


FALSTAFF

His effect of gravy, gravy, gravy.


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

You follow the young Prince up

and down, like his ill angel.
ill (adj.) 2 evil, wicked, immoral


FALSTAFF

Not so, my lord; your ill angel is light, but I
angel (n.) 3 gold coin [with the angel Michael depicted] See Topics: Money
light (adj.) 5 [of counterfeit coins] of less weight, worthless, cheap

hope he that looks upon me will take me without
take (v.) 13 put up with, accept

weighing. And yet in some respects, I grant, I cannot

go – I cannot tell. Virtue is of so little regard in these
go (v.) 5 pass as current, be valued
regard (n.) 3 respect, repute, esteem
tell (v.) 1 count out, number, itemize
virtue (n.) 3 courage, valour, bravery

costermongers' times that true valour is turned bear-herd;
bearherd, bear-herd, bearard, bearward, berrord (n.) bear-keeper, bear-handler [for dancing or baiting]
costermonger (n.) [sellers of fruit (originally ‘costard-apples’) and vegetables] barrow-boy, apple-seller

pregnancy is made a tapster, and his quick wit
pregnancy (n.) quick-wittedness, inventive imagination
tapster (n.) inn waiter, drawer of ale

wasted in giving reckonings; all the other gifts appertinent
appertinent (adj.) appertaining, belonging, relating
reckoning (n.) 2 bill [at an inn], settling of account
wit (n.) 2 mental sharpness, acumen, quickness, ingenuity See Topics: Frequency count

to man, as the malice of this age shapes them, are

not worth a gooseberry. You that are old consider not

the capacities of us that are young; you do measure the

heat of our livers with the bitterness of your galls; and
gall (n.) 1 bile [reputed for its bitterness]
liver (n.) 1 part of the body thought to be at the seat of the passions [especially sexual desire]

we that are in the vaward of our youth, I must confess,
vaward (n.) 2 foremost part, front line, vanguard

are wags too.
wag (n.) fellow, lad, mischievous boy


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

Do you set down your name in

the scroll of youth, that are written down old with all

the characters of age? Have you not a moist eye, a dry
character (n.) 1 distinctive sign, stamp, trait
moist (adj.) 2 watery, rheumy

hand, a yellow cheek, a white beard, a decreasing leg,

an increasing belly? Is not your voice broken, your wind
wind (n.) 1 breath

short, your chin double, your wit single, and every part
single (adj.) 3 poor, feeble, slight, trivial
wit (n.) 2 mental sharpness, acumen, quickness, ingenuity See Topics: Frequency count

about you blasted with antiquity? And will you yet call
antiquity (n.) old age, seniority
blast (v.) 1 blight, wither, destroy

yourself young? Fie, fie, fie, Sir John!


FALSTAFF

My lord, I was born about three of the clock

in the afternoon, with a white head, and something a
something (adv.) 1 somewhat, rather See Topics: Frequency count

round belly. For my voice, I have lost it with hallooing,
hallowing, hallooing, halloing, holloaing (n.) shouting, hallooing, crying out

and singing of anthems. To approve my youth further,
anthem (n.) song of mourning, hymn of grief
approve (v.) 3 put to the proof, test, try

I will not. The truth is, I am only old in judgement and

understanding; and he that will caper with me for a
caper (v.) 3 engage in a dancing contest

thousand marks, let him lend me the money, and have
have at [someone] [said at the start of a fencing attack or other confrontation] I come at, let me at [a person] See Topics: Discourse markers

at him! For the box of the ear that the Prince gave you,

he gave it like a rude prince, and you took it like a
rude (adj.) 5 impolite, offensive

sensible lord. I have checked him for it, and the young
check (v.) 1 rebuke, scold, reprimand
sensible (adj.) 3 endowed with good sense, perceptive, responsible

lion repents – (aside) marry, not in ashes and sackcloth,

but in new silk and old sack.
sack (n.) [type of] white wine


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

Well, God send the Prince a

better companion!


FALSTAFF

God send the companion a better prince! I

cannot rid my hands of him.


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

Well, the King hath severed you

and Prince Harry. I hear you are going with Lord John

of Lancaster against the Archbishop and the Earl of

Northumberland.


FALSTAFF

Yea, I thank your pretty sweet wit for it. But
wit (n.) 1 intelligence, wisdom, good sense, mental ability See Topics: Frequency count

look you pray, all you that kiss my lady Peace at home,
look (v.) 3 take care, see, be sure

that our armies join not in a hot day; for, by the Lord,
day (n.) 1 day of battle, contest

I take but two shirts out with me, and I mean not to

sweat extraordinarily. If it be a hot day, and I brandish
day (n.) 1 day of battle, contest

anything but a bottle – I would I might never spit white
white (adv.) [unclear meaning] clearly, lacking colour

again. There is not a dangerous action can peep out

his head but I am thrust upon it. Well, I cannot last

ever – but it was alway yet the trick of our English
trick (n.) 1 habit, characteristic, typical behaviour

nation, if they have a good thing, to make it too common.

If ye will needs say I am an old man, you should give

me rest. I would to God my name were not so terrible

to the enemy as it is. I were better to be eaten to death

with a rust than to be scoured to nothing with perpetual

motion.


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

Well, be honest, be honest, and

God bless your expedition!


FALSTAFF

Will your lordship lend me a thousand pound

to furnish me forth?


LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

Not a penny, not a penny! You

are too impatient to bear crosses. Fare you well. Commend
cross (n.) 3 coin [referring to the cross stamped on some types of coin]

me to my cousin Westmorland.

Exeunt Lord Chief Justice and Servant


FALSTAFF

If I do, fillip me with a three-man beetle. A
beetle (n.) sledgehammer, heavy ram
fillip, fillop (v.) strike smartly against, tap against, touch

man can no more separate age and covetousness than 'a

can part young limbs and lechery; but the gout galls the
gall (v.) 1 vex, annoy, irritate

one, and the pox pinches the other; and so both the
pinch (v.) 1 torment, pain, torture
pox (n.) venereal disease; also: plague, or any other disease displaying skin pustules See Topics: Swearing

degrees prevent my curses. Boy!
degree (n.) 2 condition, state of being, stage of life
prevent (v.) 1 forestall, anticipate


PAGE

Sir?


FALSTAFF

What money is in my purse?


PAGE

Seven groats and two pence.


FALSTAFF

I can get no remedy against this consumption of
consumption (n.) 1 wasting disease, venereal disease

the purse; borrowing only lingers and lingers it out,

but the disease is incurable. Go bear this letter to my

lord of Lancaster; this to the Prince; this to the Earl

of Westmorland – and this to old mistress Ursusla, whom

I have weekly sworn to marry since I perceived the first

white hair of my chin. About it! You know where to
about (adv.) 1 about your business, into action

find me.

Exit Page

A pox of this gout! Or a gout of this pox! For the one

or the other plays the rogue with my great toe. 'Tis no

matter if I do halt; I have the wars for my colour, and
colour (n.) 1 pretext, pretence
halt (v.) limp, proceed lamely

my pension shall seem the more reasonable. A good wit
wit (n.) 2 mental sharpness, acumen, quickness, ingenuity See Topics: Frequency count

will make use of anything; I will turn diseases to
commodity (n.) 2 asset, advantage, benefit

commodity.

Exit

 
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