The Merry Wives of Windsor


Text
Act I
Act II
Act III
Act IV
Act V
Enter Doctor Caius and Rugby


CAIUS

Jack Rugby!


RUGBY

Sir.


CAIUS

Vat is the clock, Jack?


RUGBY

'Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised

to meet.


CAIUS

By gar, he has save his soul dat he is no come. He

has pray his Pible well dat he is no come. By gar, Jack

Rugby, he is dead already if he be come.


RUGBY

He is wise, sir. He knew your worship would kill

him if he came.


CAIUS

By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him.

Take your rapier, Jack. I vill tell you how I vill kill him.


RUGBY

Alas, sir, I cannot fence.


CAIUS

Villainy, take your rapier.


RUGBY

Forbear. Here's company.
forbear (v.) 1 stop, cease, desist See Topics: Frequency count

Enter Host, Shallow, Slender, and Page
bully (n./adj.) [especially as a warm form of address] fine fellow, good friend See Topics: Address forms


HOST

Bless thee, bully doctor!


SHALLOW

Save you, Master Doctor Caius!


PAGE

Now, good Master Doctor!


SLENDER

Give you good morrow, sir.
morrow (n.) morning See Topics: Frequency count


CAIUS

Vat be you all, one, two, tree, four, come for?


HOST

To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee
foin (v.) [fencing] thrust, lunge

traverse, to see thee here, to see thee there, to see thee
traverse (v.) 1 [fencing] pierce, stab, run through

pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance,
distance (n.) 1 [fencing] regulation space to be kept between contestants
pass (v.) 10 use, show, employ
punto (n.) [fencing] thrust with the sword-point
reverse (n.) [fencing] back-handed stroke
stock (n.) 6 [fencing] thrust with the dagger-point

thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead,
montant (n.) [fencing] upward thrust

my Francisco? Ha, bully? What says my Aesculapius?
Francisco (n.) Frenchman

My Galen? My heart of elder? Ha? Is he dead, bully
bully (n./adj.) [especially as a warm form of address] fine fellow, good friend See Topics: Address forms
elder (n.) 3 elder tree

stale? Is he dead?
stale (n.) 2 dupe, sap, laughing-stock


CAIUS

By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld. He
Jack (n.) 1 Jack-in-office, ill-mannered fellow, lout, knave

is not show his face.


HOST

Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal. Hector of
Castalion (n.) [unclear meaning] Castilian [Spanish]; Castalian [sacred spring on Mt Parnassus]

Greece, my boy!


CAIUS

I pray you bear witness that me have stay six or

seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.


SHALLOW

He is the wiser man, Master Doctor. He is a

curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies. If you should

fight, you go against the hair of your professions. Is it
hair (n.) 1 character, nature, kind

not true, Master Page?


PAGE

Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great

fighter, though now a man of peace.


SHALLOW

Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old

and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches

to make one. Though we are justices and doctors and
make one join in the action, take part

churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our
salt (n.) 2 vigour, liveliness, spirit

youth in us. We are the sons of women, Master Page.


PAGE

'Tis true, Master Shallow.


SHALLOW

It will be found so, Master Page. Master

Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am

sworn of the peace. You have showed yourself a wise

physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise and

patient churchman. You must go with me, Master

Doctor.


HOST

Pardon, guest justice. – A word, Mounseur

Mockwater.


CAIUS

Mockvater? Vat is dat?


HOST

Mockwater, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.


CAIUS

By gar, then I have as much mockvater as de

Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! By gar, me vill cut
jack-dog (n./adj.) mongrel, currish, mutt-like

his ears.


HOST

He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
clapper-claw (v.) beat up, thrash, scratch
tightly (adv.) soundly, properly, thoroughly


CAIUS

Clapper-de-claw? Vat is dat?


HOST

That is, he will make thee amends.


CAIUS

By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me,

for, by gar, me vill have it.


HOST

And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag.
wag (v.) 1 go off, depart, go on one's way


CAIUS

Me tank you for dat.


HOST

And moreover, bully, – (Aside to the others) But

first, Master guest, and Master Page, and eke Cavaliero
cavaliero (adj.) gallant, valiant, honourable
eke (adv.) [archaism] also, moreover, too See Topics: Archaisms

Slender, go you through the town to Frogmore.


PAGE

Sir Hugh is there, is he?


HOST

He is there. See what humour he is in; and I will
humour (n.) 1 mood, disposition, frame of mind, temperament [as determined by bodily fluids] See Topics: Frequency count

bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?


SHALLOW

We will do it.


PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER

Adieu, good master

Doctor.

Exeunt


CAIUS

By gar, me vill kill de priest, for he speak for a

jackanape to Anne Page.
jackanapes, jackanape, jack'nape (n.) upstart, buffoon, monkey


HOST

Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold

water on thy choler. Go about the fields with me
choler (n.) anger, rage, wrath

through Frogmore. I will bring thee where Mistress

Anne Page is, at a farmhouse a-feasting; and thou shalt

woo her. Cried game? Said I well?
cry (v.) 1 speak loudly, shout out, proclaim


CAIUS

By gar, me dank you vor dat. By gar, I love you,

and I shall procure-a you de good guest – de earl, de

knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.


HOST

For the which I will be thy adversary toward
adversary (n.) intentional substitute for ‘emissary’

Anne Page. Said I well?


CAIUS

By gar, 'tis good. Vell said.


HOST

Let us wag, then.
wag (v.) 1 go off, depart, go on one's way


CAIUS

Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.

Exeunt

 
  Previous scene     Next scene
--%>