As You Like It


Text
Act I
Act II
Act III
Act IV
Act V
Enter Touchstone and Audrey, followed by Jaques
apace (adv.) quickly, speedily, at a great rate See Topics: Frequency count


TOUCHSTONE

Come apace, good Audrey. I will fetch up

your goats, Audrey. And now, Audrey, am I the man

yet? Doth my simple feature content you?
content (v.) 1 please, gratify, delight, satisfy
feature (n.) physical appearance, bodily shape, looks


AUDREY

Your features, Lord warrant us! What features?
warrant (v.) 6 protect, preserve, keep safe See Topics: Swearing


TOUCHSTONE

I am here with thee and thy goats, as the

most capricious poet, honest Ovid, was among the
capricious (adj.) fanciful, witty, ingenious

Goths.


JAQUES

(aside)
ill-inhabited (adj.) badly housed, poorly accommodated

O knowledge ill-inhabited, worse than Jove

in a thatched house!


TOUCHSTONE

When a man's verses cannot be understood,

nor a man's good wit seconded with the forward child
forward (adj.) 7 promising, early-maturing, precocious
second (v.) 1 support, assist, reinforce
wit (n.) 1 intelligence, wisdom, good sense, mental ability See Topics: Frequency count

Understanding, it strikes a man more dead than a great

reckoning in a little room. Truly, I would the gods had
reckoning (n.) 2 bill [at an inn], settling of account

made thee poetical.


AUDREY

I do not know what ‘ poetical ’ is. Is it honest in
honest (adj.) 1 chaste, pure, virtuous

deed and word? Is it a true thing?


TOUCHSTONE

No, truly: for the truest poetry is the most

feigning; and lovers are given to poetry; and what they

swear in poetry may be said as lovers they do feign.


AUDREY

Do you wish then that the gods had made me

poetical?


TOUCHSTONE

I do, truly: for thou swearest to me thou art

honest; now, if thou wert a poet, I might have some hope
honest (adj.) 1 chaste, pure, virtuous

thou didst feign.


AUDREY

Would you not have me honest?
honest (adj.) 1 chaste, pure, virtuous


TOUCHSTONE

No, truly, unless thou wert hard-favoured:
hard-favoured (adj.) ugly, unattractive, unsightly, hideous

for honesty coupled to beauty is to have honey a sauce
honesty (n.) 1 virtue, chastity

to sugar.


JAQUES

(aside)
material (adj.) 1 full of matter, containing substance

A material fool!


AUDREY

Well, I am not fair, and therefore I pray the gods

make me honest.
honest (adj.) 1 chaste, pure, virtuous


TOUCHSTONE

Truly, and to cast away honesty upon a
honesty (n.) 1 virtue, chastity

foul slut were to put good meat into an unclean dish.
foul (adj.) 3 detestable, vile, loathsome


AUDREY

I am not a slut, though I thank the gods I am

foul.
foul (adj.) 1 plain-looking, unattractive, ugly


TOUCHSTONE

Well, praised be the gods for thy foulness;
foulness (n.) 3 plainness, unattractiveness

sluttishness may come hereafter. But be it as it may be, I

will marry thee; and to that end, I have been with Sir

Oliver Martext, the vicar of the next village, who hath

promised to meet me in this place of the forest and to

couple us.
couple (v.) 4 marry, join [in wedlock]


JAQUES

(aside)
fain (adv.) gladly, willingly See Topics: Frequency count

I would fain see this meeting.


AUDREY

Well, the gods give us joy.


TOUCHSTONE

Amen. A man may, if he were of a fearful

heart, stagger in this attempt; for here we have no temple
stagger (v.) 1 hesitate, waver, vacillate

but the wood, no assembly but horn-beasts. But what
horn-beast (n.) horned animal

though? Courage! As horns are odious, they are necessary.
necessary (adj.) 1 inevitable, unavoidable, certain

It is said, ‘ Many a man knows no end of his goods.’

Right! Many a man has good horns, and knows no end

of them. Well, that is the dowry of his wife, 'tis none of

his own getting. Horns? Even so. Poor men alone? No,

no, the noblest deer hath them as huge as the rascal.
rascal (n.) 2 young or inferior deer in a herd; one of the common herd

Is the single man therefore blessed? No. As a walled

town is more worthier than a village, so is the forehead

of a married man more honourable than the bare brow
brow (n.) 4 forehead [often plural, referring to the two prominences of the forehead]

of a bachelor; and by how much defence is better than
defence (n.) 1 fencing, swordsmanship, skill of self-defence

no skill, by so much is a horn more precious than to

want.
want (v.) 1 lack, need, be without See Topics: Frequency count

Enter Sir Oliver Martext

Here comes Sir Oliver. – Sir Oliver Martext, you are

well met. Will you dispatch us here under this tree, or
dispatch, despatch (v.) 1 deal with promptly, settle, get [something] done quickly

shall we go with you to your chapel?


SIR OLIVER

Is there none here to give the woman?


TOUCHSTONE

I will not take her on gift of any man.


SIR OLIVER

Truly, she must be given, or the marriage is

not lawful.


JAQUES

(coming forward)

Proceed, proceed; I'll give her.


TOUCHSTONE

Good even, good Master What-ye-call't:

how do you,sir? You are very well met. God 'ild you
'ild, 'ield, dild (v.) [form of ‘yield’] reward, repay, requite See Topics: Politeness

for your last company, I am very glad to see you.
last (adj.) latest, current, present

Even a toy in hand here, sir. Nay, pray be covered.
cover (v.) 2 put on one's hat [after it has been removed to show respect]
toy (n.) 1 whim, caprice, trifling matter


JAQUES

Will you be married, motley?


TOUCHSTONE

As the ox hath his bow, sir, the horse his
bow (n.) 1 yoke

curb, and the falcon her bells, so man hath his desires;
curb (n.) controlling chain or strap passed under a horse's jaw; check, restraint

and as pigeons bill, so wedlock would be nibbling.
bill (v.) stroke beaks together [= show affection]


JAQUES

And will you, being a man of your breeding, be

married under a bush like a beggar? Get you to church,

and have a good priest that can tell you what marriage

is. This fellow will but join you together as they join

wainscot; then one of you will prove a shrunk panel and,
wainscot (n.) wooden panelling

like green timber, warp, warp.
warp (v.) 2 go wrong, go astray


TOUCHSTONE

I am not in the mind but I were better to

be married of him than of another, for he is not like to
like (adv.) 1 likely, probable / probably See Topics: Frequency count

marry me well; and not being well married, it will be a

good excuse for me hereafter to leave my wife.


JAQUES

Go thou with me, and let me counsel thee.
counsel (v.) advise, urge


TOUCHSTONE

Come, sweet Audrey, we must be married,

or we must live in bawdry. Farewell, good Master
bawdry (n.) bawdiness, lewdness, obscenity

Oliver. Not

O sweet Oliver,

O brave Oliver,
brave (adj.) 2 noble, worthy, excellent

Leave me not behind thee

but

Wind away,
wind (v.) 5 go, wend, take oneself

Be gone, I say,

I will not to wedding with thee.


SIR OLIVER

(aside)

'Tis no matter; ne'er a fantastical
fantastical (adj.) 1 fanciful, imaginative, full of wild ideas

knave of them all shall flout me out of my calling.
flout (v.) insult, abuse, mock
knave (n.) 1 scoundrel, rascal, rogue See Topics: Frequency count

Exeunt

 
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