Troilus and Cressida


Text

Act I
Act II
Act III
Act IV
Act V
Enter Achilles and Patroclus
Greekish (adj.) Greek, Grecian


ACHILLES

I'll heat his blood with Greekish wine tonight,

Which with my scimitar I'll cool tomorrow.

Patroclus, let us feast him to the height.
height (n.) 1 maximum, highest amount, utmost degree


PATROCLUS

Here comes Thersites.

Enter Thersites


ACHILLES

                         How now, thou core of envy?

Thou crusty botch of nature, what's the news?
botch (n.) 2 tumour, boil, ulcer


THERSITES

Why, thou picture of what thou seemest,

and idol of idiot-worshippers, here's a letter for thee.


ACHILLES

From whence, fragment?
fragment (n.) scrap of food, left-over


THERSITES

Why, thou full dish of fool, from Troy.

Achilles stands aside to read his letter
keep (v.) 2 stay within, remain inside


PATROCLUS

Who keeps the tent now?


THERSITES

The surgeon's box, or the patient's wound.


PATROCLUS

Well said, adversity! And what need these
adversity (n.) piece of perversity, quibbler
need (v.) be necessary, be needful

tricks?


THERSITES

Prithee, be silent, boy; I profit not by thy

talk. Thou art thought to be Achilles' male varlet.
varlet (n.) 2 manservant, page, attendant


PATROCLUS

Male varlet, you rogue? What's that?


THERSITES

Why, his masculine whore. Now, the rotten
rotten (adj.) 1 unhealthy, corrupting, unwholesome

diseases of the south, guts-griping ruptures, catarrhs,

loads o' gravel i'th' back, lethargies, cold palsies, and
gravel (n.) stones, deposits
lethargy (n.) 1 unnatural drowsiness, harmful torpor
palsy (n.) shaking fit, tremor, paralysis

the like, take and take again such preposterous
bladder (n.) 2 [of the body] cavity, vessel
bone-ache (n.), Neapolitan bone-ache [pain in the bones from Naples] syphilis, venereal disease
discovery (n.) 1 disclosure, admission, revelation
fee-simple, fee simple (n.) private estate [belonging to the owner and his heirs for ever]; permanent lease, full possession
imposthume (n.) abscess, putrid swelling
limekiln (n.) limestone-like deposit, white lump
preposterous (adj.) 1 contrary to the natural order, monstrous, perverted
rivelled (adj.) furrowed, wrinkled
tetter (n.) scaly eruption of the skin, scurf

discoveries!


PATROCLUS

Why, thou damnable box of envy, thou,

what mean'st thou to curse thus?


THERSITES

Do I curse thee?


PATROCLUS

Why no, you ruinous butt, you whoreson
butt (n.) 2 large cask, barrel
ruinous (adj.) ruined, decayed, ravaged
whoreson (adj.) [abusive intensifier, serious or jocular] bastard, wretched, vile See Topics: Swearing

indistinguishable cur.
indistinguishable (adj.) shapeless, misshapen, disfigured


THERSITES

No! Why art thou then exasperate, thou idle
exasperate (adj.) enraged, incensed, angered
idle (adj.) 1 useless, barren, worthless

immaterial skein of sleave-silk, thou green sarcenet
immaterial (adj.) flimsy, slight, of little substance
sarcenet, sarsanet (adj.) of thin silk, light, flimsy
sleave-silk (n.) silk thread for embroidery

flap for a sore eye, thou tassel of a prodigal's purse,
prodigal (n.) 1 waster, squanderer, spendthrift
tassel (n.) ornamental fringe

thou? Ah, how the poor world is pestered with such

waterflies, diminutives of nature!
diminutive (n.) undersized person, very small being


PATROCLUS

Out, gall!
gall (n.) 1 bile [reputed for its bitterness]


THERSITES

Finch-egg!


ACHILLES

My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted quite

From my great purpose in tomorrow's battle.
purpose (n.) 1 intention, aim, plan See Topics: Frequency count

Here is a letter from Queen Hecuba,

A token from her daughter, my fair love,

Both taxing me and gaging me to keep
gage (v.) 2 pledge, bind, commit
tax (v.) 2 order, tell, command

An oath that I have sworn. I will not break it.

Fall Greeks; fail fame; honour or go or stay;

My major vow lies here; this I'll obey. –

Come, come, Thersites, help to trim my tent;
trim (v.) 2 tidy up, make ready, prepare

This night in banqueting must all be spent. –

Away, Patroclus!

Exeunt Achilles and Patroclus


THERSITES

With too much blood and too little brain,
blood (n.) 2 anger, temper, passion

these two may run mad; but if with too much brain and

too little blood they do, I'll be a curer of madmen.

Here's Agamemnon, an honest fellow enough, and

one that loves quails, but he has not so much brain as
quail (n.) courtesan, prostitute

ear-wax; and the goodly transformation of Jupiter

there, his brother, the bull, the primitive statue and
primitive (adj.) original, classical, typical

oblique memorial of cuckolds, a thrifty shoeing-horn
cuckold (n.) [mocking name] man with an unfaithful wife See Topics: Frequency count
oblique (adj.) indirectly resembling
shoeing-horn (n.) shoe-horn; person used as a tool, hanger-on
thrifty (adj.) worthy, estimable; also: stingy, frugal

in a chain, hanging at his brother's leg – to what form

but that he is should wit larded with malice, and malice
lard (v.) 2 mix in, intermix, intermingle
wit (n.) 1 intelligence, wisdom, good sense, mental ability See Topics: Frequency count

forced with wit, turn him to? To an ass were nothing;
farce, force (v.) stuff, cram

he is both ass and ox. To an ox were nothing; he is both

ox and ass. To be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew, a toad,
fitchew, fichew, ficho (n.) polecat, skunk; also: prostitute

a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or a herring without a roe, I
puttock (n.) kite; greedy scavenger

would not care; but to be Menelaus I would conspire
conspire (v.) practise, contrive, plot

against destiny. Ask me not what I would be, if I were

not Thersites; for I care not to be the louse of a lazar so
care (v.) feel concern, be anxious, trouble oneself
lazar (n.) leper, diseased person

I were not Menelaus. – Hoyday! Spirits and fires!

Enter Hector, Troilus, Ajax, Agamemnon, Ulysses,

Nestor, Menelaus, and Diomedes, with lights


AGAMEMNON

We go wrong, we go wrong.


AJAX

                         No, yonder 'tis –

There, where we see the lights.


HECTOR

                         I trouble you.


AJAX

No, not a whit.

Enter Achilles


ULYSSES

                         Here comes himself to guide you.


ACHILLES

Welcome, brave Hector; welcome, princes all.
brave (adj.) 2 noble, worthy, excellent


AGAMEMNON

So now, fair prince of Troy, I bid good night.

Ajax commands the guard to tend on you.


HECTOR

Thanks, and good night to the Greeks' general.


MENELAUS

Good night, my lord.


HECTOR

                         Good night, sweet Lord Menelaus.


THERSITES

Sweet draught, sweet, quoth 'a! Sweet sink,
draught (n.) 2 privy, cess-pool, sewer
quoth (v.) said See Topics: Frequency count
sink (n.) cesspool, waste pit, sewer

sweet sewer!


ACHILLES

Good night and welcome both at once to those

That go or tarry.
tarry (v.) 1 stay, remain, linger


AGAMEMNON

Good night.

Exeunt Agamemnon and Menelaus


ACHILLES

Old Nestor tarries, and you too, Diomed;

Keep Hector company an hour or two.


DIOMEDES

I cannot, lord; I have important business,
tide (n.) 1 season, date, time [of year]

The tide whereof is now. – Good night, great Hector.


HECTOR

Give me your hand.


ULYSSES

(aside to Troilus)

                         Follow his torch; he goes

To Calchas' tent. I'll keep you company.


TROILUS

(aside to Ulysses)

Sweet sir, you honour me.


HECTOR

                         And so, good night.

Exit Diomedes, Ulysses and Troilus following


ACHILLES

Come, come, enter my tent.

Exeunt Achilles, Hector, Ajax, and Nestor


THERSITES

That same Diomed's a false-hearted rogue,

a most unjust knave; I will no more trust him when he
knave (n.) 1 scoundrel, rascal, rogue See Topics: Frequency count
unjust (adj.) 1 dishonest, untrustworthy, crooked

leers than I will a serpent when he hisses. He will
leer (v.) look sideways, cast a side glance, smile disarmingly

spend his mouth, and promise, like Brabbler the
spend one's mouth [hunting] bark, bay, give tongue

hound; but when he performs, astronomers foretell it,
astronomer (n.) astrologer

that it is prodigious, there will come some change. The
prodigious (adj.) 1 ominous, portentous, promising evil

sun borrows of the moon when Diomed keeps his

word. I will rather leave to see Hector than not to dog
dog (v.) follow closely, pursue like a dog
leave (v.) 1 cease, stop, give up

him: they say he keeps a Trojan drab, and uses the
drab (n.) harlot, slut, whore
use (v.) 8 frequent, hang out at, visit regularly

traitor Calchas his tent. I'll after. – Nothing but

lechery! All incontinent varlets!
incontinent (adj.) unchaste, unable to restrain oneself
varlet (n.) 1 knave, rogue, rascal, ruffian

Exit

 
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